


Let Me Call You Sweetheart (I'm In Love With You)

by Tiny_Rick



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV), Criminal Minds BAU
Genre: Asexual Spencer Reid, Autistic Spencer Reid, Canon Asexual Character, Canon Autistic Character, Cute Spencer Reid, F/M, Happy Spencer Reid, I thought I'd finally use her, If you guys like it I'll try to post a chapter a week, Olliana was an OC I've been working on for a while for no specific project, Please comment and let me know what you think and if I should continue!, but the asexual autistic pool is kind of small it makes me feel better and less alone, please don't hate me for projecting myself onto characters, the BAU team is a family
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-18
Updated: 2018-11-28
Packaged: 2019-07-13 18:51:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 20,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16023866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tiny_Rick/pseuds/Tiny_Rick
Summary: After Maeve's death Spencer never thought he could ever love again. But love comes when you least expect it, and now step by step the good doctor is becoming happy. Misery loves company, and nobody understands the death of the woman you were in love with more so than a person who lost the same thing.Some really happy, fluffy romance and BAU family stuff! Some hurt/comfort, but nothing extreme. You would make my day if you commented and let me know what you think and if I should continue the story!!





	1. A Happy Mystery

**Author's Note:**

> I hope I make these geniuses sound smart enough and I get the facts right I am so stupid lol I shouldn't be writing fics for a show like this I'm just a film student

“Is it weird to see Ried glued to his phone like that?” Derek asked, confused. Normally the kid had a book pulled close, or maybe an article of some kind, a newspaper or crossword puzzle. Anything, but never his phone. And never like this. Reid would type something rapidly, stare at the screen for a moment, get the biggest smile Derek had seen in a while and rapidly type something again. Garcia stood behind him and watched the cycle or typing, waiting and smiling repeat a few more times.

“If I didn’t know any better I’d say he’s texting a lady friend.” Penelope raised her eyebrows and took a sip of her latte. The two stayed a safe distance and spied for a little longer, just watching the young doctor continue his cycle as they waiting for the others to funnel in.

“Who’s got him smiling at his phone like that?” JJ laughed, approaching Garcia on her right. But the tech analyst quickly shushed her.

“Shh, don’t blow our cover, that’s what we’re trying to figure out.” She explained. JJ looked at her two friends fixate on Spencer and quickly joined them. “Oh my god, our wonder kid has a wonder girl.” Penelope grinned.

“He could be texting a friend.” JJ tried. But the three kept watching him until Rossi came up behind him.

“Conference room, Hotch is waiting on us.” He started. As soon as Spencer heard the voice from over his shoulder he nearly leapt out of his chair and dropped his phone face-down on the table. He then grabbed it, stole a secretive glance at the screen and tucked it away in his pocket. But the glance earned a smile, and the reddening of his face was also obvious.

“Is that how you text a friend?” Morgan asked, giving JJ a look and making his way up the steps. Penelope just smiled big and shook her head from side to side like she was silently celebrating. JJ tried to hold back a smile as she watched Spencer quickly find his seat in the conference room and begin to play with his hands. He was definitely distracted.

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Reid’s distraction didn’t carry onto the field, at least not in a bad way. But it was clear something was different with the kid. The doctor who was normally socially awkward and fumbled to find the right way to offer comfort quickly adjusted. He talked to the families of the victims easily, and to everyone’s surprise held the widow as she cried and thanked them all for the closure after five years. Reid wouldn’t shake most people’s hands, now he was able to let a stranger hug him, tightly. Even when his discomfort showed in his body language and face, he just held her and let her cry to him. Normally a job he would pass to JJ or Hotch.

And once back to the hotel after the case was wrapped up, it was right back to the phone. He sat with his legs crossed on a chair in the lobby as the group waited for the jet, unaware of his entire team staring at him. He was too wrapped up in smiling at his phone like a lunatic. It wasn’t until the fifth full minute of staring, without Spencer noticing, Hotch requested Emily’s attention. “What’s going on with Reid?” He asked seriously.

“Why do you ask like it’s such a bad thing?” Prentiss countered. “Look at him, he did fantastic these past few days and he seems so happy.” She assured. But Hotch remained cynical, skeptical to anything that caused such a major attitude shift in such a short amount of time. “Jets here, waiting on us.” Prentiss got the notification and the team started out. But before exiting the hotel door she turned back. “Reid?”

Spencer’s head shot up when he realized he had not been paying a scrap of attention. “Oh right, sorry.” He blushed a bit and shoved his phone in his pocket quickly.

Once on the jet Morgan noticed another oddity. Reid had his face in a book like always, but never actually turned a page. Normally the kid flipped through books so fast you’d question if he was even reading it, but he didn’t seem to be able to focus enough to get past a single page. And he didn’t seemed bothered by it at all. “So… how’s your book?” Derek asked, sitting in the chair across from the young doctor.

Reid seemed to be caught off guard. “Oh uhm… good, yeah… good.” He stammered a bit and nodded. Derek sighed at Spencer’s pathetic attempt and gave him a look. “What?” Reid asked skeptically.

“Come on kid, out with it.” Derek tried. Reid just gave him a look of cluelessness and shrugged, going back to pretending to read his book. “You know that I know.” He tried, but Reid pretended not to hear him, still staring at his book. “What am I supposed to tell Garcia?” Morgan asked.

“Nothing.” Reid responded, without looking up. “There’s nothing to tell her.” He assured. Morgan sighed, but shrugged and leaned back.

“If you say so…” Derek sat casually and glanced out the window. “Is she pretty?” he asked offhandedly.

“Beautiful… wait!” Spencer just let the word slip out without any control before dropping his book and cutting himself off. His face burned red when he realized what he had said. “Wh-who is-” But before he could finish his lie of a question Derek laughed and cut him off.

“Don’t even try, kid.” He clapped his hands together and leaned forward. “Who is she?” He asked. Reid closed his book tightly and began repetitively running his fingers over the edge of the smooth, hard cover. After fighting with silence for a moment he looked over his shoulder, most of the team was sleeping, the only ones awake were JJ and Rossi, each caught up in their own task a ways away.

“You can’t tell anybody.” Spencer leaned in and told him urgently. “Seriously!” He added, pulling his book to his chest.

“Okay, okay, she must be a real catch if you’re keeping her a secret.” Derek teased, trying to get the doctor frazzled. But Spencer just shook his head.

“No Derek, really. You can’t tell anybody especially Hotch.” He continued with a look of urgency. Derek gave him a confused look before Reid scooted closer. “She was a witness I questioned to a case we had last year.” He confessed. “But I swear we didn’t start seeing each other until long after the case was solved! But if people find out we’re together it’s still a conflict of interest… and she could get in a lot of trouble.” He added with a hint of guilt.

“Why her?” Derek asked. He believed Reid when he said there was nothing between them during the case, he knew Spencer wouldn’t jeopardize the team or a case like that.

“I’m… I’m kind of her patient.” Reid added. He then shook his head quickly. “I’m in the middle of finding a new doctor but she could still get in a lot of trouble. She only ever saw me to take blood samples when I was getting tests done but they still take this type of thing really seriously.” Spencer continued. Derek put his hands up to stop Reid’s panicking.

“Hey, I understand, okay? Nobody will find out.” He promised. Spencer sighed in relief and let his shoulders drop. “But you have to tell me who she is.” Morgan begged, leaning in with a smile. A tiny smile crossed Reid’s face as well.

“Remember the New York case last year? A man luring women away from the nightclub in Brooklyn?” Spencer asked. Derek nodded and he continued. “We questioned a singer at the nightclub named Olliana.” Reid rubbed the back of his head nervously. “And then recently I went to get bloodwork done and saw her in the lab, she got a job offer in Quantico. She told me performing was more of a hobby. She recognized me first and…” He trailed off and his face flushed a little bit. Derek grinned and leaned back.

“Olliana.” He repeated. “I remember her, redhead right?” he asked.

“Yes, well no, black hair. She used to wear a red wig to perform in New York. She also used a fake name, she said there were a lot of creeps there.” Spencer explained. “Alexandrite, that’s what she called herself on stage… one of the most rare and beautiful gemstones in the world.” He looked down when he said this part, playing with his thumbs.

“How long have you been seeing her?” Morgan asked. Spencer just shook his head and tucked some hair behind his ear.

“We’re not even anything official yet… at least nothing has been said. But she kissed me a week ago, before that I thought I just liked her.” Reid added. He had a far off smile dancing on his face as he played with the edges of his book.

“All right Spencer Reid.” Derek joked, making Spencer scrunch his face up. It was silent for a moment. “You know Hotch won’t tell?” He started. “Or put anything past you, we all believe you if you say there was nothing going on during the case, Reid.” Morgan assured. “And it was over a year ago in New York city, and if I remember correctly we put the witness under the fake name she gave us. No one would know or care at this point, is this really about getting in trouble?” Derek tried. Spencer sighed and shook his head.

“I know, I just need a little more time. I’m mostly worried about her job, she’s so close to getting her dream job as a forensic serologist she’s applying for the promotion and I’m sure she’ll get it she’s so smart and talented and-”

“Okay kid, I get it.” Morgan laughed. “If you need more time you can have all the time you need, I won’t even tell Garcia.” He promised.

“Really?” Reid asked with a look of relief.

“Of course, she’ll wanna throttle me, but this is your business.” Morgan assured. Spencer took a deep breath before whispering a thank you and leaning back in his seat.

“It does feel nice to tell somebody about it though.” He admitted quietly. “All she ever does is make me happy.” Spencer grinned and looked up excitedly. “We disagree on almost every hidden meaning to almost every episode of The Twilight Zone. It makes for great conversation.” He laughed. “We didn’t even get through ten minutes of an episode the other night because we kept pausing it to argue over what the moon represented in the halting of time.” He spoke like Derek understood the specific episode he’d never seen.

“Well if you need anything, to talk about her in a lovestruck daze,” Derek offered teasingly “of you need anything, I’m here.” He assured Reid. Spencer nodded and looked at Derek with a short laugh.

“You wouldn’t happen to know any phlebotomists in Quantico? I had to stop seeing mine.” Reid grinned, making Derek shake his head and match Spencer’s bright expression.


	2. But I can't help falling in love with you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yay we meet Oliana! I hope you guys like this chapter it took me a really long time to write and I had some trouble with it! It would make my day if you left a comment, but read and enjoy!!! I hope you guys like it I write to bring joy!!!!!!

“I have new information on our dear doctor.” Penelope quickly shuffled down the hall in her tall pumps, trying to catch up with Derek without breaking her ankles. Once she caught up with the agent she slowed down and began side-stepping to look him in the eyes. “I saw Spencer Reid, our Reid, in a nightclub.” She spoke, astonished. Morgan just laughed a bit. “Why are you laughing this is big news! Why would Spencer be there? He’s not the nightclub type, I bet he was meeting someone.” She deduced.

“Anyone performing?” Derek asked out of the blue. Garcia kind of dismissed the question.

“Yeah some redhead.” She shrugged before hurrying into the BAU office, catching Spencer right before he sat at his desk. “Fun night?” She asked quickly, peering right over his shoulder. Reid heard her heels clicking the minute she entered the door, so no surprise crossed his face.

“No, not really. Just got some work done.” He lied easily, setting his shoulder bag on his desk. Penelope just nodded and pretended to believe him for a brief moment.

“Oh fun, fun. Well JJ, Emily and I had a small girls night, we wanted to check out this new spot downtown called The Crypt, this spooky themed nightclub.” Garcia began. Reid seemed to shift a little bit but he kept his cool.

“Sounds fun.” He dismissed her and continued to jot down whatever it was he was doing.

“It was fun, we saw a singer and guitarist, and then another girl played the piano…” She trailed off, giving Reid one more chance to come clean, when he didn’t she continued. “We also saw you.” She finally admitted. Spencer only laughed and shook his head.

“Me? A nightclub?” He was speaking a little too fast to be convincing. “You’re mistaken that doesn’t sound like me I had a lot of work to do last night.” Spencer scrambled out of his seat and collected his computer bag. Before Garcia could say anything else he was on his way up the steps. “Shouldn’t we be starting the briefing? Sometime?” He asked, gesturing to the round table and jumped up the steps.

Garcia shook her head and made her way to the front of the group. Before the briefing started Derek noticed Spencer giving him a look. “I swear, I did not say a word.” Morgan whispered, putting his hands up defensively. Spencer made a bit of a face, but believed him and directed his attention to Garcia.

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“You sounded beautiful.” Oliana whipped around when she heard a quiet voice behind her. Her face lit up and she jumped forward, holding Reid in her arms as tight as possible. This would always make him fall back, when she held him. But it wasn’t bad, it wasn’t like when strangers touched him or people who he hardly knew thought they were close enough to give him a sudden hug. She squished his arms and it made him laugh, she was safe.

“Spencer! I can’t believe you made it tonight I thought you were on a case?” She asked excitedly.

“Well we got in like an hour ago, I remembered you were performing and made it here just in time to catch your last song.” He admitted, rubbing the back of his head. “But you were amazing… you’re always amazing.” Spencer blushed a bit. Ollie smiled and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

“You didn’t need to rush here like that, Spence. You must be exhausted.” She sympathized. Spencer just shrugged a little. The truth was he wanted to see her. He had to see her. Especially today. Oliana noticed him look down slightly as his smile melted away and her face grew serious. “What’s wrong?” She brought his face up so he could look her in the eyes.

“I’m just really happy to see you is all.” He started, getting a solemn smile.

“Tough case?” Ollie asked, all Spencer could do was nod.

“We…” Spencer got choked up before continuing. “We didn’t get there in time.” His voice became much quieter and Oliana just let him hold onto her hand.

“You look tired.” She started, sighing. “Come on, let’s go somewhere else.” Ollie suggested, noticing the backroom was beginning to fill with people now that the show was over. Reid just nodded and Ollie brought him outside, he just complied when she took him to her car and drove to her apartment complex. “I unpacked everything.” Oliana started, trying to lighten the mood. “Thanks for helping me find a place in Quantico, I was ready to move in with my sister.” She made a disgusted face as a little joke, earning a laugh from Reid. Once she saw him smile she felt her anxieties melt away. He looked so tired, the case was really hard on him. But he could still smile. He was still safe.

Once they made it to her complex she tugged on his hands. “Will you stay the night? You have your bag and I hate being alone in a new place.” Oliana lied. She didn’t want Reid to be alone, she had to hold him tonight, make sure he slept and make sure he’s okay. The thought of him sitting alone in his apartment, thinking if he had worked or thought just a little bit faster, that girl would still be alive. His brain would find a way to lie to him.

“Of course I will.” Reid found himself unable to say ‘no’, even if he wanted to when she gave him that sweet smile. The fact that somebody wanted his company so badly was odd to him, he was the weird one. He liked weird things, he acted weird. Or how the girl he liked in college described him, “you’re just too dorky”. She had said it with a face that made him feel like she was disgusted by him, but it wasn’t that he was ‘dorky’. She thought he was weird when he would shy away from hugs and kisses. Or the night they were in her dorm and she tried to go further and he pulled away. He didn’t get offended easily, he wasn’t over sensitive. But something about the way she looked at him, like he was broken, it hurt more than his feelings. And for the first time he began to think about why he was like that. Was something wrong with him?  _ Was  _ he broken?

“Sorry about the mess.” Oliana kicked an empty cardboard box from her move. “But I put up the Twilight Zone poster!” She laughed, motioning to the black and white poster above her couch.

“It looks great in here.” Spencer grinned, any bad feelings from the case or memories weren’t important right now. “What’s going on with your kitchen?” Reid asked with a look of confusion. He picked up the frying pan covered in some sort of substance. “Were you… frying marbles?” he asked, as one of the unmelted glass marbles fell onto the floor and rolled away.

“I was trying to see if the smoke detector worked.” Ollie called from the living room, before stepping into the kitchen. “It doesn’t.” She then added. “Come on! I let you show me Star Trek now I’m gonna make you sit through Coraline.” Ollie jumped excitedly. “Stop motion is so cool.” She kind of hummed this to herself. Spencer felt a big smile grown on her face as Oliana jumped on the couch and patted the spot next to her. He sat down next to her and Ollie moved closer to him, which was okay.

What made him feel odd was when she slipped her arm around his waist. The second Ollie felt him squirm slightly she pulled her arm away and just rested her head on his shoulder, something she knew he was fine with. But her response made it worse. Couples touch each other, that’s what they do and now she’d think he was broken and not wanna be with him because he was broken and nothing could fix him and he had to keep her, he had to pretend so he could keep her.

“Y-you can out your arm around me… if you want.” Spencer spoke too quickly. But the way he averted eye contact showed his discomfort. Ollie just took his hand and kissed the tips of his fingers.

“It’s okay.” She whispered. And something about the way she said it, he believed her. She still liked him. Reid couldn’t help but sigh in relief and lean against Oliana and let her hold him around his arms and shoulders. He rested his head on her chest and listened to her heartbeat as Ollie ran her fingers through his hair. He was tired. It had been a tough case. Normally he couldn’t sleep after tough cases, but it was becoming so difficult to keep his eyes open.

Oliana looked down and smiled when she saw Reid was fast asleep, holding onto her limply. “Don’t think you can get out of watching this movie with because you fell asleep.” She whispered to him, knowing he couldn’t hear her. She continued to stroke his hair and looked down at his sleeping form. He was perfect, the most special thing in the world to her.

And this time she wouldn’t wait, this time she wouldn’t let them slip away without saying goodbye. This time it wouldn’t be too late.

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Reid nervously tapped his fingers on the side of his leg, working up the courage to talk to his friends. Finally he took a deep breath and just went in, if he just spoke like it was casual, then it would become a casual situation and people wouldn’t read into it. People mirror the moods of others, he reminded himself. It’s no big deal. Spencer just walked into the office where most of the team was gathering their bags and coats to head home.

“Uhm… my girlfriend is having a Halloween party this saturday and wants to meet my friends. It’d be great if you guys could make it if you can let me know, alright goodnight everyone.” He spoke really fast and spun on his heel after calling attention to himself, ready to march right out the door. Penelope just held her mouth agape and gave each teammate a look.

“Wait your girlfriend?” Prentiss stopped Reid before he could leave and he turned around. He had his eyes cast down ever so slightly but tried to act like it was no big deal. He tried to act like he was ready for all of this. But the faster it went the more nerving it got. And the fun butterflies he got in his stomach when he saw her turned into a nauseous feeling of anxiety after the nightmares about losing her. But now they knew. She was introduced as his ‘girlfriend’. He had something to lose. And he might not be able to protect her. Just act like it’s nothing. Pretend nothing’s wrong and maybe the feeling will stop.

Reid shook himself out of his head to see a big portion of his team smiling at him and the others exchanging looks. “Yeah my girlfriend. Her name is Oliana and she’s excited to meet you guys. She moved here recently… you might have seen her at the Crypt it’s the nightclub her sister owns. They have a big Halloween Party every year and Ollie preforms, it’s a lot of fun.” Spencer explained with a smile.

“I would love to.” JJ was the first to speak up. Emily nodded in agreement but before she could speak Penelope cut her off.

“I knew it. I knew I saw you at that bar the other night! And I knew something was up!” She started. Reid just grinned and looked down a bit more, trying to hide his smile. “Oh my gosh look at his face, you like her!” Garcia celebrated to herself. “This is so excited I have to find my costume.” She decided. Reid only laughed, her positivity was contagious sometimes. It made him feel better.

“Oliana, that’s a beautiful name.” Prentiss told him. Spencer turned a little red.

“I know…” He mumbled. “She’s great.”

“And she performs? You’re dating a theatre nerd?” JJ teased. Spencer laughed and shook his head.

“She’s a singer yeah, but she only performs at her sister’s place now. She actually just landed a job as a forensic Serologist at Marwins Forensics lab. She’s fantastic, I saw her piece together a mutilated body like a jigsaw puzzle, literally performing her autopsy backwards. You’d hardly believe the victim was blown to bits.” Reid explained. JJ just pressed her lips together and nodded.

“That’s great, Spence.”


	3. An Incidental Arrangment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Halloween party goes down! I hope you guys like this chapter it took SO MUCH out of me lol, I hope you stick around for the next chapter and see what happens! This took me all day to write haha and I already started the next chapter! This is set up for some stuff in the next chapter, not giving anything away but I really hope you guys enjoy! A comment would make my entire life I love to hear what you guys think! Alright I'm rambling I'm gonna stop now I love you bye!

“Hey you guys are here!” Spencer spoke much more excitedly than he wanted to when he saw his team enter as a group. Garcia quickly pushed her way to the front of the pact and wrapped Spencer up in a too-tight hug.

“I wouldn’t have missed this for anything!” She cheered. She was in a catwoman costume, but it was more ‘Penelope Garcia’. Meaning over the black tights was a glittery black tutu and she threw in splashes of orange wherever she could, just for the festivity. Including an orange sparkly sequin scarf.

“So where is the famous yet ever elusive Olliana?” Rossi asked, obtaining a drink from the bar minutes after entering the party.

“She’s got a performance, the first one on tonight and then you guys can meet her.” Spencer couldn’t stop a bg smile from spreading across his face.

“Hang on, where’s your costume?” Garcia asked, letting go of Reid. Rossi smoothed out his regular clothes.

“I’m wearing it. I’m an everyday casanova.” He raised his drink to the young woman who only gave him a glare. “But your costume is better?” He dared. “I’ve only seen Batman on screen once, and it was in a commercial before a feature of The Darkest Hour.” Rossi began, making JJ roll her eyes. “And I don’t recall any orange.”

“It’s called personalization.” Penelope stuck her finger out at him, making the older man laugh. “Besides, look at the three of us.” She jumped in excitement as she wrapped each arm around JJ and Emily. JJ dressed as Power Girl and Emily as Wonder Woman.

“I’m more curious with why Spencer is wearing that weird pinstripe suit and what looks like a spider… maybe?” Prentis tried to decode his costume. Reid opened his mouth to explain but a voice cut him off.

“We’re Jack and Sally. Obviously.” The group whirled around to see a girl in a red wig smooth out her patchwork dress.

“Ollie!” Reid exclaimed happily. Oliana threw her arms around him and grinned at the group. “I thought you were performing I was gonna wait for you.” He began speaking a little nervously.

“I’m going on later, I couldn’t wait to meet your team.” She admitted, before turning to face the group. “You  _ have  _ to be penelope Garcia.” Oliana said first. “Nobody else would make Catwoman that cool. Not even Catwoman.”

“Yes! See? I told you!” Penelope whipped around to face Rossi, who only gave a light laugh. A meeting the older man Oliana’s eyes seemed to widen a bit and she put her hand out for him to shake.

“David Rossi.” She spoke. He nodded she shook his hand firmly. “I’m just… I’m a huge fan of your work.” She started, shaking his hand for a little too long. Rossi just smiled before Oliana realized she was still shaking his hand and blushed and let go. Ollie shook her head and directed her star struck attention to Emily and JJ. “Wow Spencer really does have an eidetic memory, his descriptions of you were spot on.” She laughed a bit.

“Do I want to know what he said about me?” Hotch laughed a bit making Spencer shake his head. Oliana looked at him for a moment.

“If your Aaron Hotchner than I can safely say this whole team thinks very highly of you.” She began.

“Flattery can only get you so far, red.” Derek cut in. “I still remain skeptical of your entirety.” He joked. Oliana laughed and shook her head.

“Well you should considering I’ll most likely end up being the unsub of your next case. When you find Spencer dead in his apartment let me save you some effort, I did it.” She gave Derek the hardest look she could muster as she sipped her drink with evil eyes. Before bursting out laughing. “I’m screwing with you!” She laughed really loud and gave him a playful, yet hard, punch on the shoulder. Garcia let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding as Ollie kept laughing. “Seriously though, I only killed that one guy.” She added, before motioning the group to the bar where her sister leaned over to give a hug.

“So does Spence make you play him in chess?” JJ asked, shaking off the young girl’s scary sense of humor and sitting next to Ollie. This made her nearly spit out her drink.

“Hell no I don’t have the patience to  _ learn _ chess let alone play it.” She shook her head.

“I play my little sister’s boyfriend in chess.” Eyes were directed at the dark haired bartender, she looked very similar to Oliana, only older and much more tattoos. Oliana only had one tattoo visible on her wrist, a sapphire.

“Do you beat him?” Derek asked.

“Hell no, the kid has ESP or something.” She retorted. 

“I’ve already explaining it’s not a psychic power it’s mostly deduction and analyzation. I know your next move based on the one you made before that.” Spencer started. Ollie’s older sister just shook her head and waved him off.

“No. Its ESP.” She disagreed. “Meg.” She introduced, putting her hand out to shake Morgan’s. “So what’s a man like you doing tonight after this?” Meg inquired, leaning over the bar.

“Heading home to my darling, Savannah.” Derek grinned back. Meg just cracked a smile.

“That’s sounds like a country song.” She poked, sliding a drink across the counter. Derek looked around at the group laughing and having a grand time. Rossi had found a woman to chat up while Hotch acted as a wingman. And all three women were having a wonderful time getting to know Oliana. But what caught Morgan’s attention was the shy smile that played on Spencer face, and the way it would grow when Oliana would laugh or swish her hair or anything else the boy found cute or pretty. Spencer looked at his hands before looking up at Oliana and putting his hand over hers, she didn’t bat an eye and instinctively held it tight.

“Spence really likes that sister of yours.” He started. Meg nodded and pushed her bangs to the side, she was dressed as Morticia Addams.

“My sister really likes that doctor of yours.” She countered. Derek fell quite and Meg looked over at him, squinting hard at his face for a moment before speaking up. “You wanna ask me something.” She deduced. Morgan just took a sip of his drink, assuming it was clear on his face.

“Reid is a good kid. A really good kid.” He started.

“So is my sister.” Meg’s voice turned a little harsh, getting the wrong idea.

“That’s not what I meant.” Morgan put his hands up defensively. “He’s just…” He spoke carefully, the woman leaning against the counter with hard eyes, expecting him to say the worst. “I’m not talking bad on Ollie, Spencer loves her. I just met her and the girl’s great.” Derek assured sincerely, making her eyes soften. “I’m just worried, the kid’s been through a lot and… I don’t think he can have his heart broken again.” He continued. This made Meg lean back and nod.

“I don’t think you have anything to worry about.” She gave another small smile and left him at the bar. “Ollie, I know you're having fun with your little boyfriend but my headliner has to go on.” Meg interrupted the couple, Making both Ollie and Spencer blush as being called out.

“Oh man I’ve never been nervous about going on before.” She quickly got up and fixed her costume wig and bow.

“You’ll do fantastic, you always do fantastic, it comes naturally to you.” Reid started to babbled before Oliana gave him a light kiss. Rossi smiled at Derek, who smiled back as Redi pulled away embarrassed, his face bright red.

“I hope you guys enjoy the show, I’ll be back down in a little bit.” Ollie bid her farewells to her new friend group before making her way across the crowded party.

“B-bye! Y-you’ll be amazing!” Spencer called, not being able to stop himself despite not being audible over the large crowd. He then turned around and blushed even more when he saw his entire team staring at him with knowing little smiles. Reid tried to brush it off and look at his hands. “I’m so happy you guys came tonight Oliana is incredible.” He spoke quickly.

“I’m excited.” JJ spoke to take some of the attention off of Reid, much to his relief. “Garcia, Emily and I saw Oliana that night we went out. You guys are in for a treat.” She turned her attention to the stage opening, clapping with the others. Reid nearly jumped up and down, clapping his hands together excessively.

“I was going to sing Sally’s Song from the Nightmare before Christmas. Fit with the costume.” Ollie started, her gaze traveling down to Spencer. “But there’s something else I wanna sing tonight.” She finished before beginning her song.

_ I’ve been watching your world from afar, I’ve been trying to be where you are. _

_ An I’ve been secretly falling apart, unseen. _

_ To me, you’re strange and you’re beautiful, I put a spell on you _

_ And when I wake you’ll be the first thing I see, I see. _

_ I see that I love you _

Spencer felt his heart race as the happy-type butterflies he got in his stomach rose up again. She kept looking at him and smiling. It felt like she was singing to him. But that couldn’t be what was happening… could it? Did this woman really love him? This perfect, smart, strangely funny woman was in love with him. Spencer Reid. The guy who played himself in chess during lunch at high school.

It didn’t matter. None of that mattered anyway, the only thing that mattered was her. And for the first time in a while, he felt like everything would be okay. Maybe he could let himself fall in love, just a little bit. He could trust that she wouldn’t be ripped away from him right in front of his eyes. Its okay. He could go slow this time, ease into his fear. It felt possible, right now in that one perfect moment, anything felt possible.

And then that moment ended.

Oliana looked down at Reid with a warm smile, she wasn’t about to let him slip away. “Spencer.” She spoke softly, stepping down from the stage. “You are the most incredible thing that has ever happened to me. And I don't want it to be too late.” She added. This made Spencer fall back a tiny bit, not knowing what she meant. But she didn’t give him a chance to respond. “Spencer Reid, I love you… will you marry me?”

Spencer’s blood ran cold and he felt his throat close up. The fun butterflies were now a bad nauseous feeling. Marry her. She would be his wife he would lose her he couldn’t always be there it was happening again why did he let it go this far? His thoughts raced as he stayed quiet. Too many eyes were on him this wasn’t good it was happening again. He must have been shaking, violently, because his drink fell and spilled on the floor. He opened his mouth to say something, anything, but no words came out.

“I…” He was breathing faster. “Absolutely not!” Reid finally cried out. “No! Why would you think… we’ve been dating for two months! This is too much... I… I…” He whipped around and saw the entirety of the bar staring at him. “I have to get out of here.” He cried to himself before pushing past anyone in his way and running through the back doors.


	4. Starting to be Happy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So here is the fall out of the last chapter! There is a trigger warning for suicide mention, this was kind of a self-indulgent chapter. But I worked really hard on this one and I hope you guys like it! Please review if you want it means the world to me! I'm starting to wonder if anyone is really reading this so let me know if you guys think I should continue!

Spencer slammed his door behind him and slid to the ground. He had heard his friends calling him as he ran out, telling him to wait and asking if he was okay. But he couldn’t hear them, just Morgan yelling “Kid wait up!” then he picked up his pace and vanished. Reid leaned his back against his door and put his head in his hands, not feeling the strength to move further. The room was spinning and his chest was clenching painfully.

This was all happening again. The heartbreak he wasn’t able to comprehend, it hurt so bad. His head was spinning, how could he let this happen? Spencer wiped away the tears he didn’t realize were flooding down his face. He felt like he had heard somebody knock on the door later. Maybe Morgan, or Garcia? He wasn’t sure. Spencer had thought he heard Derek’s voice asking if he was okay, and to please open the door. How long had he been crying on the floor? An hour? Two?

But his tears were interrupted when he heard another knock on the door. “Go away!” Spencer yelled a bit too harshly. But there was another knock on the door. “Derek I don’t want to talk about it! Leave me alone!” He tried to sound angry but his voice cracked pathetically and more tears spilled down his face.

“Spence…? It...its me.” A soft voice came through the door and his head snapped up. Oliana pressed herself against the other side of the door as tears fell down her own face. “I… can we please talk?  _ Please? _ ”

Spencer shut his eyes tight, feeling his heart clench at her sad tone. And before he could make a thought-out decision he cracked the door open. Ollie’s eyes flicked up and she felt herself break when she saw he was crying. She had made him cry, and that was making her cry too. That’s was the furthest thing she wanted to do, all she wanted was to make him happy, be the one who made him smile and hear him laugh. He was crying now. This wasn’t good, she was supposed to do the opposite. “Spence…” She only managed to say. “I… I only wanted to…” Oliana couldn’t even finished what she thought she could say.

“Why!?” Spencer finally cried. He stepped away from the door and walked into his apartment, crossing his arms and keeping his head down. Ollie came in behind him and Reid whipped around. “Why would you think I wanted that!? It… it was too much! You know I can’t handle that, what were you thinking!?” He asked. Oliana just stood there. She wasn’t sure what she was thinking, she didn’t plan that at all. All she knew was that he was smiling at her in that moment, and she didn’t want that smile to go away.

“I was thinking that I wanted to keep you, Spence!” Oliana finally shouted louder than she intended. “I was thinking I didn’t want you to go away, I can’t let somebody take you from me-”

“What about YOU!?” Reid cut her off. “What if somebody takes  _ you  _ from  _ me!? _ Because I can’t do that again, Oliana, I can’t lose you I can’t lose her again, I can’t I can’t I I caN’T I CAN’T I CAN’T I-”

“Spencer!” Oliana cried out, taking his face in her hands and cutting him off. Spencer swallowed hard and looked up at her, he was trembling hard now and at some point in his ramblings he had fallen to his knees. He stared at her for a long time before bursting out into tears and falling forward into her arms.

“Oliana I can’t do it again… I’m not… I can’t I’m not enough and I can’t help it but I’m not enough for you! Oliana I’m not good enough for you!” He put his hand over his mouth and Ollie held him close, feeling utter shock at what he had said, but not knowing how to respond. “I wasn’t good enough… I should have protected her, Ollie. But I… I didn’t…”

“It wasn’t your fault.” Oliana whispered. She hadn’t heard this before, Spencer had never mentioned it. But she knew this feeling too well to not understand what had happened. “Spence, you can not blame yourself for what happened, it will destroy you. Please understand, please. None of it was your fault.” She told him, holding his face in her hands. Tears were falling down her face too now, and he could see it. It was clear now, why he was afraid to move on was the same reason she was afraid of not moving forward fast enough.

“Ollie…?” He mumbled, looking up at her with tear-filled eyes. Oliana sighed and leaned her head against him, closing her eyes.

“Nicole.” She spoke simply. “I was Alexandrite and she was Sapphire.” Oliana smiled fondly yet sadly and rubbed the tattoo on her wrist. She took a deep breath, lifting her gaze to meet Spencer. “We performed together all through college. She told me how she felt… Spence, I felt the same way! I loved her too but I wasn’t ready… I lied.” Oliana’s face fell. “It was all my fault…” She whispered this so quietly and Spencer shook his head.

“No… No! Ollie, no! Whatever happened it wasn’t you!” He assured desperately. But Oliana just shook her head. She wasn’t crying anymore, her face numb and void.

“I didn’t know.” Ollie closed her eyes. “I didn’t know what she was going through outside of our little life together. I didn’t know, Spence. I was all she had left and I lied to her! I told her I didn’t feel the same way because I was too scared to confront those feelings!” Her face was breaking now and tears started again. “Spencer she killed herself that night… She needed me… I didn’t know I was her last lifeline… why didn’t she tell me!? I could have helped I could have showed her there was another way out! Her family wanted no part of her she had lost  _ everything  _ and I just abandoned her!” Oliana was sobbing so hard now she was screaming. Spencer didn’t say a word, he just held her tight.

“Ollie, that was not your fault.” He whispered. “Oliana, listen to me. You weren’t ready, you couldn’t have…” Spencer trailed off. “Is that why you proposed to me tonight?” He asked very quietly. Oliana could only nod.

“I don’t ever want to see your smile go away… I can’t lose you too. I can’t wait and have you slip away...” She closed her eyes like she was tired and Spencer looked away.

“I’m so sorry…”

“You have nothing to be sorry for.” Ollie sighed, she seemed a lot calmer now, oddly. But tears were still bubbling from her eyes. The two sat in silence for a long time.

“Maeve.” Spencer spoke before he could stop himself. Oliana looked over at him and he averted her gaze. “Her name was Maeve… I was supposed to be helping her… I couldn’t.” His voice kept getting quieter and quieter. Oliana just reached over and took his hand in hers, squeezing it tight. “Are we… Oliana I love you.” It just slipped out, making Ollie sit up surprised. “I do, I really do, so much. But I don’t… can we do this?” He asked. “Are we able to be together, when neither of us are over what happened? We both still love somebody else, I’m so sorry! It’s true I still love her but I love you Ollie and I can’t do it alone anymore!” He was crying again.

“You’re not alone. Never.” Oliana spoke harshly, holding him by the shoulders, making Spencer’s eyes grow big. “And I love you, I love you so much, if I didn’t I wouldnt have proposed to you.” Somehow this made the two of them laugh through tears, a sad and solemn laugh. “Spencer, we can make it through this, together.”

“Really?” He asked so quiet. He was terrified. He thought she’d be angry, disappointed in him, he should be ‘over it’ by now. And how would your girlfriend react when she heard you still had feelings for somebody else? Somebody who was gone? But she was looking at him kindly,  _ understanding. _ This was okay. He was allowed to miss her, Ollie missed Nicole too. And it was okay. It was something they could get through.

“Spence, living with this has been a nightmare, and for the first time since I’ve lost her I don’t feel alone. You make me feel… you make me  _ feel  _ something. I’m not numb.” Oliana admitted, holding his hand to her heart after kissing his fingertips. “And if going slow is what you need to feel comfortable in this relationship than I’ll do it, I’ll trust I won’t lose you and I won’t ever push you ever again. But Spencer I need you.” Oliana told him. Spencer didn’t know what to think about this, he just stared at her for a long time with big eyes, not knowing what to say and not being able to think about a single thing.

“I love you.” He opened his mouth and it just poured out. “I love you… I… Ollie I want to marry you.” Spencer just spoke, it was the truth, but he didn’t mean to admit it right now. “But I can’t!” He added too fast. “Just not… now… I want to! The idea of spending my life with you is all I want! I just… but I… I can’t think!” Reid cried and put his face in his hands. He could always think, he could always have a thought but right now his brain was mush and everything was confusing him.

“Then we don’t have to.” Oliana started, bringing his face up to look him in the eye. “We could just… both be satisfied in the fact that we love each other, and we want to get married at some point. But we don’t have to do it.” She continued. Spencer gave her a confused look. “We can be together and engaged for twenty years! And then one day, maybe we’ll both be ninety or a hundred! When it feels right we’ll do it. But now, right now, nobody even has to know. It can just be ours. No rush, no pressure, just take our time to tell each other everything, and what happens happens.” Oliana promised. “I can listen to you about Maeve and you can hold me everytime I think about Nicole. We can be here for each other and make it through this together. But I love you, and I will do whatever it takes to be with you.” She assured.

“I will too… Ollie I’d do anything to keep you and if you want me to move faster I will I-”

“No, Spence I… you don’t have to do anything you’re uncomfortable with. I proposed to you after two months because I was scared, I don’t want fear to run this relationship.” Oliana explained. “If we do decide to get married, I want it to happen because it's what we really want, and it's what we’re ready for. Not because I’m projecting her memories onto you.” She looked away sadly, but then met his gaze with a ghost of a smile, like she was relieved just to see his eyes. “I don’t care what happens or how long it takes… I wanna be with you.”

“Can we do that?” Spencer asked. “Just… not have a plan? Can we just not  _ know? _ ” He seemed so confused. He always knew what to do, what to think. He always had an answer. But now Spencer couldn’t make sense of anything. But when he looked at her, it was okay. He didn’t need to know, he just had to trust. “Do you think we can do that?” He asked, needing to hear her agree before feeling confident enough to dive in with her. And to his shock Oliana laughed in a tear-filled way.

“We can do whatever the hell we want.”

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The break room fell into an awkward silence when Spencer showed up at work the next day. His entire team traded looks like they were trying to figure out the right way to comfort them. JJ was about to speak up, but Spencer spoke first pouring a cup of coffee and trying to focus on the liquid in the cup instead of the eyes on him. “I’m sorry for what I did at the party on friday.” He began. “I just… I’m sorry.” He started.

“No, kid, don’t apologize it was…” Morgan felt like he should day something more but he didn’t have the words. Spencer shook his head.

“No, I really do have to say I’m sorry. I just… I really wanted you guys and Ollie to like each other and I ruined it.” He continued, running his fingers along the side of his mug. The team was quiet for a little while longer, not awkwardly anymore. But each sought for the right thing to tell Spencer.

“We got along great, Spence… and you guys did too.” JJ started. “I know you liked her a lot, we’re really sorry about how things turned out.” She said this last part quieter, however it made Spencer look up a little curiously.   
“What do you mean?” He asked, confused. The group exchanged looks at Spencer and each other and the doctor tilted his head in question.

“Well we… I’m sorry you broke up.” JJ felt odd elaborating, and finally it clicked with Reid making him nod at first but then shake his head.

“Oh! Right, I didn’t…” He was about to explain he didn’t understand but sort of trailed off. He’d forgotten that he and Ollie were sort of  _ supposed  _ to break up. “We’re still together, actually we…” Spencer trailed off when looking at each of his friend’s faces. They didn’t seem happy. Like they normally seem when you tell your friends you’re in love. They were looking at him in a way that made him think they pitied him. He rubbed his coffee mug again and just gave a curt nod before leaving the break room, not knowing how to explain himself.

“Spence, hey Spence wait!” Emily had to jog for a second to catch up with his quick pace away. “We didn’t mean to make you feel called out back there.” She started, about to put a hand on his shoulder but instead pulled back, knowing that wouldn’t comfort him.

“It’s really okay I understand you guys aren’t too thrilled. I know how badly I screwed up-”

“Spence, no. You didn’t screw up, and we’re so happy for you! But… what happened?” Prentiss finally pried. “You seemed so… you ran away and Derek said he went to your apartment and you wouldn’t come to the door.” She explained. “But you guys are together?” Emily seemed a little confused, but tried her best not to show how skeptical she could be. Spencer just smiled the tiniest bit and looked down at his coffee.

“Yeah… we just talked… a lot…” Spencer started. “You know she didn’t want to get married either, she was as panicked as I was and that’s why she did it. But then we just… told each other…  _ everything.”  _ He seemed confused at how this had played out. “You know… She told me about Nicole… and then I told her about Maeve. I told Ollie  _ everything  _ about her and…” Spencer just gave a shrug as Prentiss looked at his face very carefully. He’d never mentioned Maeve before, out in the open, in words. It hurt too much, the memory still lingered so fresh. But when Spencer said her name that time, loss and sadness streaked across his face, but this time he had a somber smile. Like the pain was still there, and would never be  _ cured.  _ But it became easier, like he could finally look at her as a wonderful memory of a wonderful woman. Instead of the haunting of a tragic death. Everyday you think about the pain and loss a little bit less, and all the wonderful times you went through start to be remembered more and more. And soon there memory becomes a happy one.

Prentiss didn’t need to ask who Nicole was, the context made it more than clear. And it was also clear that Reid didn’t mean for that part to slip out, not wanting to betray Ollie’s trust by letting anybody know about what happened. But Prentiss just let him know it was okay with a smile, it would stay between them. “I’m proud of you, Spencer.” Emily told him, before turning to sit at her desk and leaving him a little shocked. Spencer shook it off before sitting down. Emily looked up from her paperwork to see most of the team giving her fast and concerned glances, but the smile she had put everything at ease. Spencer was happy. And this time that family would do anything they could to make sure their boy wonder  _ stayed  _ happy.


	5. Words To A Case

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Oliana helps the BAU solve a particularly odd case, Spencer tries to tell her what's on his mind. But words can be difficult sometimes. I worked really hard on this one, and starting the next chapter I have something way bigger planned. So comment and let me know what you think and if I should continue the story! I love you!

“It seems the first victims are a different MO.” Hotch scanned the documents as Garcia paused the briefing. “None of these murders are connected.” He looked back up at the officer who brought the string of murders to their attention.

“It’s a small town Agent Hotchner.” Officer Burley begged. “This can’t be a coincidence.”

“Geographical distance makes the possibility of seven different killers highly unlikely.” Reid started. “But the possibility of a serial killer changing their MO for every victim is also unheard of. Especially this drastically, judging from the crime scene, state of the bodies after decomp and dumping sites one could conclude their from seven different unsubs.”

“Okay so we have an unsub who kills differently every time, gives no tell, no calling card and absolutely no signature. Could it be a copycat?” JJ tried.

“Typically a copycat only mimics one killer.” Derek flipped through pages. “But if that’s what this guy is doing then he’s got quite a few favorites.” He shook his head as the rest of the team scrambled to find a link. “Hotch, I don’t think these murders are connected.” He guessed. Rossi eyes Reid as he squinted at the file.

“Don’t hold back on us kid, what’s that brain telling you?” Rossi spoke up, making Reid tear his gaze from his paper.

“Each of these bodies are mutilated some way post mortem… why destroy the body of someone already dead unless trying to hide something.” He started. “Has anyone identified cause of death yet?”

“What does cause of death matter!?” The local cop cried. “They’re dead, lets start there!” He seemed angry, but the team exchange looks and shook some heads. They knew where they really had to start.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“You were right to come to me.” Oliana started. She led the team through the lab she worked in, clad in a lab coat and big goggles and yellow gloves she only wore to handle bodies. “All deconstructive damage to the body was done post mortem. But when I reconstructed the bodies I found this,” Oliana pressed a button to show her seven artist renditions of the bodies before mutilation. “Same injuries, same bruising, same cause of death; asphyxiation. The only difference is how the body is disposed and destroyed. Somebody didn’t want any of these victims to be identified.” She then laughed a little gruesome. “These remains were  _ fascinating  _ to decode, I had fun.” Oliana smiled big before realizing how horribly misinterpreted her words could be and she cleared her throat and shook her head.

“Normally an unsub will stick with the same way of disposal.” Rossi began, changing the subject.

“Exactly.” Ollie confirmed. “This unsub wasn’t the same person who destroyed them. You guys are looking for a team, one messy erratic killed and somebody who does not want them to be caught. From the bruising on the necks I’d say the unsub is male, and very large. But each of the victim’s shoulders were dislocated, again post mortem. Showing that whoever was getting rid of them wasn’t big or strong enough to carry them. They were dragged to the dumpsite. And that’s where the change in disposal comes from. Whoever was getting rid of these bodies wasn’t looking for consistency, they were looking to cause as much damage as possible to make sure nobody identified these victims. The first one was fire, second one I identified as sulfuric acid, my guess is they used whatever they could find in a pinch. Looking for speed and efficiency.”

“Maybe a paternal figure?” Emily suggested. “A parent who doesn’t want their child to get caught and is covering up their kills. We’ve seen it before.” She reminded.

“Either way, all these victims were killed by the same man.” Hotch added. “Which means we have a serial killer, wheels up in thirty.” The group nodded and dispatched, each going their separate way to make it to the plane. But before Derek could make it out of the door he felt a hand stop him. He turned to see Ollie take her goggles off and look at him with pleading eyes.

“Please… please keep him safe.” She begged. Morgan gave her a nod and she let go of his sleeve, watching them disappear down the hallway.

“Everything okay?” Reid asked, waiting a moment for Morgan, who nodded. He then got an odd face and shrugged off his leather jacket.

“Yeah but… she grabbed my sleeve with that giant, blood-covered, yellow glove she wears to dissect people.”

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The plane home was much less solemn than it could have been. Finding the unsub in time to save the girl he had captive ad reuniting a family. Emily’s profile had proved to be right, a mother protecting her son, getting rid of all the bodies as fast as she could. The boy was institutionalized, mentally unstable since birth, he had never really had a chance. And the car accident that caused damage to his frontal lobe didn’t help, the brain damage causing a slip in impulse control that progressively worsened. But the girl was safe, and nobody more had to die. The son went peacefully, and not a shot was fired.

“You owe Oliana the biggest ‘thank you’ possible.” JJ started. Spencer’s eyes flicked up from his book and he smiled. “I’m serious, without her we might not have had a serologist on call to do all that. Definitely not in time to save that girl, and who knows how much longer it would have taken if she hadn’t done the artist renditions of the victims on her own.”

“I know… she’s incredible.” Spencer wasn’t reading, but he had his face hidden in his book so nobody on the plane could see his violent blushing. He glanced up to see JJ grinning at him, causing his blush to deepen and he pretended to read his book.

“You two are happy.” She stated simply. Reid couldn’t stop his face from getting redder, but he nodded and played with the folded page of his book.

“She’s waiting back in Quantico…” He spoke quietly with a shy smile. Spencer couldn’t help but cover part of his face with his hands. “She and Garcia really hit it off.” He laughed a little, the idea of those two messing around back at home brought him some kind of joy, thinking about the two of them chatting about digital art that they both used from time to time in their careers.

When the plane landed and the group made their way back to the office, a happy cry cut through. “You guys are home!” Penelope ran as fast as she could in her six inch pumps, greeting Morgan with the first hug. But before she could make it to the group a flash zoomed past her and before Spencer couldn’t process what was happening he was being picked up and swung from side to side.

“Spencer!” Oliana yelled excitedly, spinning him around before opening her arms and letting him drop to the ground, nearly falling over. “I’m so happy to see you all!” She grinned looking at the team, holding onto Spencer’s hand and throwing her other arm up.

“We’re happy to see you too, Ollie.” Prentiss cut in. “You really came through for us this time.” She explained. Oliana just made a nonchalant look and made a gesture that implied it was no big deal. “Really,” Emily continued “we owe you a favor.”

“I told you guys she was brilliant.” Reid spoke quietly and rubbed his arm, shy about expressing this much. Oliana laced their fingers together and gave him a little smile.

“We should all get home, get some rest before tomorrow.” Hotch told the group, back to business. “Jack’s running a fever and can’t sleep, I should go.” He sighed, Penelope wishing him and his child well as Hotch rounded up his things before stopping to shake Ollie’s hand. “Really, Oliana. Thank you.” He told her. She gave a nod before he ran off and she reconnected with the rest of the group, returning her hand to Spencer’s.

“I gotta get back to my boys too.” JJ started, as the rest of the team made their way to the office she made a beeline for the elevator. “Spence, don’t stay late tonight, okay? I don’t think you’ve slept since we landed in Little Rock.” She told the young doctor, seeing him work himself ragged since they landed in the small town to catch a spree killer.

“I’m sure I have.” Spencer lied, already pouring over a sheet left for him on his desk. But before he could make any marks his chair was pulled away from his desk and Oliana tipped the back so he slip to his feet.

“C’mon, Spence. I’m taking you home.” She insisted. Reid could only smile as he followed his girlfriend close behind. He likes the way she held his hand, firmly and secure. She was the only one who was allowed to hold his hand. When the two were in the elevator on their way down Oliana could help noticing the way Spencer would glance at her then turn his gaze to his shoes, shyly. “What’s up with you?” Ollie giggled.

“I’m just… thinking… about you.” Spencer blushed and rubbed his arm. “You really did so exceptional and I… Ollie I wish I could tell you things…” His smile faded away and he began to play nervously with his hands, fidgeting on his feet as well.

“Spence, you can tell me anything.” Oliana assured. “But if it’s something your not ready to share either I understand that too, some things take time.” She promised.

“It’s not that.” Reid made clear, speaking a little bit faster. “I don’t know… it’s… I feel like I’m supposed to know everything and I’m supposed to have a word and explanation for everything.” He began. “But then things that are so simple to everyone else gets so confusing to me. And I can’t put my feelings into words like JJ and Garcia can so easily… I wanna be good with words for you… and tell you all these things like Morgan says to Savannah but I’m not like that! And you’re so amazing and what you did for this case proves that, and I should know the definition but words feel weird in my mouth sometimes and I don’t-”

“I love you too.” Oliana cut him off. Spencer just held still for a moment, unsure of how his ramblings made sense to her when they didn’t even make sense to himself. But she got it. She knew, even when the genius Spencer Reid didn’t. “Spence, you don’t need to be able to talk to me like Morgan and you don’t need to use words like Garcia. I love you because you’re  _ you. _ I don’t need you to be perfect, I don’t even want you to be perfect. I just want you to be you.” Oliana told him, reaching up to brush some of his hair from his face. “Can I kiss you?” She asked, knowing a surprise like that would throw him off and at worse cause a lot of anxiety. In the right context it was implied and she didn’t need to ask, but Spencer wasn’t in an ‘eye-contact’ mood right now, so he wouldn't know. Spencer blushed deeply, but nodded.

“Yeah.” He agreed, moving closer and holding her by the arms before Oliana pulled him into a kiss, resting her hand on his shoulder.

“Am I interrupting something?” JJ’s voice cut through. Spencer and Ollie quickly tore away from each other, noticing the elevator door had opened in the lobby to reveal JJ still there, she had not left yet for whatever reason. Spencer burned a bright red and nearly leapt to the opposite side of the elevator, fidgeting wildly and rubbing his palms.

“JJ! JJ, w-what are you… w-why are you s-still h-here?” He stammered, his face blushing redder each second. JJ just gave him a small smile and pulled her keys from her purse.

“Couldn’t find me keys.” She explained. “But I uh… got them now.” JJ assured. Spencer swallowed hard, trying desperately and horribly failing to act casual. This made Oliana laugh and trade a smirk with JJ.

“Right! R-right… k-keys…” Reid didn’t even have words right now and he looked at JJ’s shoes rather than her face.

“Get some sleep, Spence.” JJ told him again. “I think you might be coming down with something, you look kind of red.” She teased, grinning before backing out of the door. Leaving Reid to cover his face embarrassed and Oliana burst out laughing.

“Oh my god, you’re so friggin cute!” Ollie teased ruthlessly. She smiled and shook her head when Spencer finally laughed at himself a bit, but the laughter was cut off by a yawn. “Come on, no way am I letting you drive like this.”

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“You need to get more sleep.” Oliana told Spencer when they were back at his apartment. They were laying on the couch and she was holding him tightly. The way that made him feel better, and safe when he needed it.

“I know… so do you though.” Spencer countered. Ollie laughed a bit and played with his hair.

“Did you know the monorail was invented by George Monorail?” Ollie asked, out of nowhere. Spencer squinted his eyes and thought for a second, before shaking his head.

“I don’t thinks that's true.” He broke the news. Oliana just shrugged and shook her head, telling him he was wrong under breath. Reid laughed again and glanced up at her. “What did you do at the office while you were waiting for our flight?” He asked curiously.

“Well, you aren’t the only chemistry genius in this relationship.” Ollie scoffed. “I performed a pretty cutting edge experiment where I hucked a can of soda at the wall to see what would happen. Spoiler alert, it exploded.” She clapped her hands in triumph and Spencer made that thinking face again.

“Is that what that stain on the carpet was?” He asked. Oliana nodded and put her arm back around Spencer. “That’s not really chemistry.”

“Well it’s no serology either so I practiced outside my field.” Ollie closed one eye like she was drawing a straight line with her head. “Also my hypothesis proved to be incorrect, so I ended up learning a lot.”

“What did you hypothesise?” Spencer asked.

“I thought the wall would break before the can did… in hindsight it didn’t make sense but the can got really hard when I shook it up a bunch I was sure it would slam right through the wall.” She looked down at Spencer. “I have a very specific skill set and my intelligence does not flourish outside of serology.” She teased herself. But to her surprise Spencer just wrapped his arms around her and let out a contented sigh.   
“You’re way smarter than me… that’s for sure…” He mumbled, his words becoming a little slurred as he dozed off. “Ollie?” Spencer’s voice was so soft it could have been mistaken for a whimper. Ollie looked down at him curiously and he yawned. “You’re… perfect…” His tired brain wanted to say more, but the words hardly came out as he nodded off. The last thing he felt before falling asleep was Oliana giving him a light kiss on the head.


	6. Letters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After being targeted by an unsub, Reid's family show him how much they'd do for him, and they'd never stop keeping him safe. This chapter is based off of S10E6 "If The Shoe Fits", taking place after how the episode ended. This chapter is where the story really starts to take off! Please comment and let me know if you want to hear more and what you think!

Spencer’s hands shook as he opened another letter. The fourth one this week. He thought it was a sick prank at first, but then two more came and he was ready to tell his team. That was until this last letter was sent, telling anybody as out of the question now, he had to keep them safe. “Spence?” A voice cut through and Spencer scrambled to shove the letters in his messenger bag.

“JJ! Hey…” He trailed off, only noticing he sounded frightened after he had already spoke. JJ leaned against his desk and gave him a soft look.

“You okay? You seem a little frazzled.” She asked. Spencer shook his head.

“No, I’m fine.” He lied. “Just kind of tired, you know, a lot of paperwork piled up on the same days and stuff.” Spencer smiled as best he could and JJ nodded, playfully ruffling his hair and shaking her head. He kept the playful smile on his face until she was out of sight and it fell off his face, Spencer grabbed the crumbled letter out of his bag and chewed his lip.

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“Spence? Babe, are you in here?” Ollie called entering the bullpen at half past midnight. Spencer had texted her urgently claiming he needed her help. But the entire office was empty. “Spencer?” She called again.

“Down here.” A tiny voice came and Oliana bent down, seeing Reid curled up in a ball under his desk. Ollie got on her knees and crawled over, Spencer was hugging the leg of his chair and had a blank expression, with wide terrified eyes.

“Okay I’ll bite… what’s going on? Why are you hiding?” Oliana asked, laughing a bit. Then her face fell serious. “Should I hide too?” She asked urgently, halfway under the desk. But when Reid looked up at her she stopped, he was petrified. “Spencer, what happened?” She asked much more desperate. When he didn’t answer she squeezed herself under the desk as well and took his arms from the chair, making him look at her. “Spencer!” Oliana cried out, scared.

“Not long ago we worked a case…I didn’t think she’d…” Spencer started, swallowing hard. “The letter on my desk…” He could hardly speak his voice was trembling so hard. “I was just working late and it was slipped under the door.” He mumbled, but Oliana was already on her feet, grabbing the handwritten note on his desk and reading it quickly.

 

_ My dearest prince, _

_ Too long of a time have we been separated. As you led me to our carriage I knew it would only be us, forever. Until those monsters took you away from me, they locked me up so I couldn’t see you, my dear one. But walls and locks can not stop true love. I knew I’d make it to you. As you searched the city to find me, bringing my glass slipper, I will search now for you. None can stop me from bringing us together, I will see you soon, my prince. _

_ Love, _

_ Your darling Cinderella _

 

“Spencer, what the hell is this?” Oliana asked, with fear and confusion. Spencer was still under his desk, eyes wide.

“C-Claire Dunbar…” He mumbled. “A case we worked on the-”

“The Cinderella spree killer.” Ollie recalled. She had heard of that case and worked on the autopsy report of Claire’s victims, when Olliana was just an intern. She’d also written a report following the murders. “You made the arrest, didn’t you?” Ollie asked confused, why was this letter so romantic sounding?

“She was delusional, you remember the report.” Spencer swallowed hard. “She thought she was Cinderella and waited for a prince to take her away… so to get her to go peacefully and quietly Hotch told me to play that part. She bought it immediately and she was taken away peacefully, without a fight and I didn’t hear anything about it but… I thought they’d explain it to her… but they just let her live that delusion that I was going to come back and rescue her, but they never told her.” He was speaking brokenly.

“She got tired of waiting.” Ollie read the letter again. “And now she’s coming for you instead.” When she said this Spencer seemed to flinch and curl in on himself. “Spence, it’ll be okay, I’m not going to let anyone get you.” She took his face in her hands and promised him. “But we have to go to your team with this-”

“No!” Reid cried, crawling out and taking Oliana by the shoulders. “Ollie this isn’t the first letter I’ve gotten from her.” He confessed, pulling back and bringing his hands up, like he was scared Ollie would be angry with him.

“W-what? It’s not? Spence, how long have you been getting these letters!?” Oliana cried out. “Why wouldn't you come to me and your team why…” She stopped her rambling when she saw Spencer’s big shiny eyes. He was petrified, and now he thought she was angry at him. “It’s alright, we’ll get through this.” She promised, holding his hands securely and kissing his head. “How long have you been getting these? And why haven’t you said anything sooner?” Ollie asked him in the gentlest voice possible. It broke her heart to see him like this, he was shaking like a leaf and was so scared. Once she got her hands on Clair that woman was going to suffer for making her Spencer feel this way.

“Two weeks…” Spencer took a breath. “I thought the first one was a prank, and then when more came I was gonna tell you all b-but she s-sent me another one that…” Reid stopped talking and he put a hand over his mouth. He couldn’t speak anymore his words were gone.

“It’s okay, just let me see it. You don’t need to say it.” Ollie promised. Spencer shuffled around in his bag and handed her a crumpled up note. Ollie’s eyes scanned it and she felt sick. If she wasn't going to mangle Clair before she was now. A long note, angry scribbles threatening Reid for not responding to her earlier love letters. And threats against his team and any others close to him, Clair told him she’d find them. Anyone he might love more than her, Clair promised to find them. The pen was messy and the handwriting was shaky, but what scared Reid most what the blood stain Clair put there to prove to him she was serious. “I’m going to kill her.” Oliana spoke through gritted teeth and Spencer looked up, shaking his head frantically.

“No! Nobody has to get hurt!” He begged her. “She-she’s not a monster she’s just sick!” Reid urged her. “J-just like Tobias was! They don’t mean to hurt those people she was hurt and she’s sick.” He cried. Oliana couldn’t help but staring at him, Spencer sat there and defending this woman, and then the man who kidnapped and tortured him. “She’s just sick.” He repeated. “I thought the notes were from jail but this last one just proves that somehow she’s out!”

“Spence, I know you’re scared and that’s okay. I’m not going to let  _ anything  _ hurt you ever again. But we have to tell the others as soon as possible.” Ollie repeated. But this seemed to add to Spencer’s fear.

“If we go to my team she’ll know I reported her as a threat and it might trigger another psychotic break! She can’t hear I rejected her she might start hurting other people again!” Spencer panicked. Then a very real thought dawned on him and to Ollie’s surprise he began to shove her out the door. “Oh my god! What was I thinking!? You can’t be here! If she finds out about you that’ll make things even worse! She could absolutely break and hurt somebody or hurt you or-”

“Spencer stop!” Oliana turned around, taking him by the shoulders and holding him still. He was trembling now. “Nothing bad will happen, you know we have to tell your team about this. And you can tell them all of this and we’ll keep it quiet. But you need help, you might be in danger and I am not about to let anybody hurt you. Ever.” She tightened her grip on his shoulders. “You can come to my place-”

“No.” Spencer cut her off again. “I shouldn’t be near any of you guys. We know from last time that she’ll hurt anyone to get to her object of affection and the second I do anything to stray from her fantasy I’ll be killed too I have to-” He stopped when oliana pulled him into the tightest hug she could.

“Spencer. I know you want to keep us safe. But we want to keep  _ you  _ safe too.” She whispered, petting his hair and letting him cling onto her. “Please let us protect you too.”   
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“I checked prison and hospital records, Clair is gone.” Penelope confirmed. “She was given mercy by the court for pleading obvious insanity. She was given a supervised parole because her doctor said she had a handle on the psychosis. But she was being observed daily, she hardly had a second to herself, then her parole officer showed up at her apartment after she had two hours alone. She was gone and place was ransacked. That was two weeks ago, when the letters started.” Garcia explained over the phone.

“Any trace of where she was going?” JJ asked.

“It’s pretty obvious she’s trying to find Spencer, but other than that we’re not sure where she’s starting.” Garcia explained, then fell silent on the other line.

“Garcia what is it?” Hotch asked, knowing that silence.

“Just got word they found a victim in her destroyed apartment, he was jammed into the closet and…” She trailed off.

“Garcia?” Prentiss encouraged her.

“He uhm,” her voice cracked “victim was thirty-two year old Mason Grey… tall, thin man with curly brown hair… guys he looked just like Spencer.” Garcia swallowed hard and Rossi sat down, rubbing his eyes and grinding his teeth.

“She’s degenerating fast.” Hotch noted. “Normally after an unsub targets somebody like this they’d leave some sign of their first move. They want their object’s attention.” He thought out loud, looking back at the notes she had sent to Reid. “But each one of these vary wildly, she goes from furious at Reid for ignoring him and then infatuated with him in the very next line.”

“She could be anywhere.” Derek slammed his fist down on the table, looking out the glass window at Spencer. Oliana was sitting next to him and trying to calm him down a little bit. When the team had got there he had been trembling so much, repeating ‘I’m fine. I’m fine. I’m sorry you had to come here. I’m fine. I’m sorry, I’m fine’.

“We have to find her.” Morgan’s voice was loud, but he quieted down when he saw Oliana and Spencer had heard him, turning their heads. “How do you think he’s doing?” He asked. The group fell silent and exchanged looks.

“He’s petrified of something happening to us, that’s why he waited so long to say anything.” Rossi was just staring at the case file, not reading a word. “He must have been terrified after being targeted like this since… Maeve.” Rossi breathed. He glanced over at Reid out the window, he was getting his life back, getting better and moving on. He didn’t deserve this. Now he was holding onto Oliana’s hand tightly, like she was gonna get ripped away. And Spencer’s eyes kept darting to the round table, like he was checking to make sure his team was still there, like he was gonna look up and they’d all be gone.

Hotch took a deep breath. Sending Reid in to do the arrest had been his idea, he had told Reid to pretend to be Clair’s prince. Before anyone could comment on his worried look he left the briefing room, making his way over to Spencer and Ollie. “Spencer, this is going to be okay.” Aaron told him. Once he spoke Spencer jumped in fear at hearing a voice, but when he noticed it was Hotch he relaxed a bit.

“I-I k-know… I k-know…” Spencer was speaking too fast. “It-it’s… it’s fine. I’m sorry… I-I-I’m sorry you h-had to d-do th-this f-for me I…”

“Reid.” Hotch just said his name in a firm yet comforting way. Spencer could only nod, showing he understood what Aaron was about to say. Hotch had to fill in Oliana, but he didn’t want to mention any of what Garcia found in front of Spencer. “Oliana, can we talk?” He asked quietly, Ollie nodded, understanding what was about to happen. But as soon as Ollie moved away from Spencer he held her hand tighter.

“Don’t go!” He blurted out. He didn’t mean to say it, the words just came out. Oliana turned around and kissed his head.

“I’m right here.” She promised. Reid nodded and let go of her hand, letting her walk across the room with Hotch.

“This is my fault, Oliana.” Hotch started. “I knew how unstable Clair was but the thought of this ever happening never cross-”

“It’s not your fault.” Ollie cut him off. “You’re his boss, and he did his job and neither of you would have guessed that they would have fucKING LET HER GO!” Oliana all of the sudden screamed and punched the wall. Hotch cringed when he heard her knuckles crack, but it couldn’t have been that bad because he didn’t see any pain on her face. “Send the victim to me. I’m sure she left some sort of clue in the way she killed him. I know she killed another person Garcia filled me in on everything.” She explained.

“Oliana you know we can’t do that.” Hotch started. She whipped around to look at him angry, but Hotch didn’t react. “You can’t perform an autopsy for a case this personal.  _ Especially  _ when the victim was chosen specifically to look exactly like your boyfriend.” He told her. “You won’t be able to do it with a clear head, we can assign one of the best-”

“The best isn’t good enough for him!” She snapped at him. “Assign whatever surologist you want but I’m double checking the work and examining the body myself too, any blood spatters at the crime scenes any marks from the body in her apartment will come through me as well.” She demanded, balling her hands into fists.

“If that’s what you want, I’ll make sure it happens.” Hotch promised her. “But Clair’s third letter was clear about harming the entire team and anyone else who might be close to Reid. That includes you. The lot of us will stay here with him in protective custody until she’s found.” He informed her. “Not to mention it will do Reid the most good, to see us alive and well.” He added.

“I have to go back to him now.” Ollie told him, looking over at Spencer sitting at his desk, his hands balled up over his mouth with his eyes shut tight. Hotch nodded and watched Ollie crossed the room, taking Reid’s hands away and lifting his head up to look at her. She didn’t say anything, just gave him a warm smile. And Aaron could see Spencer’s eye well up with tears from across the room and he dove into the woman’s arms. They’d keep their boy wonder safe, whatever it took they’d keep him safe.


	7. Making Sense

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter took so long to get out! Part of me feels like nobody is reading this lol so I kind of lost motivation, but I thought I'd at least post it haha. Let me know what you think!! I worked pretty hard on this one! The team does everything they can to stop the Clair situation, but something about this entire case feels off. Please comment it will make my day! and let me know what you think!

“Spencer, you shouldn’t be looking at this stuff.” Prentiss cringed when she saw him pouring over the case on the floor of one of the empty offices. Reid just shook his head and scribbled something on another piece of paper, taping it up and looking at two together.

“I need to figure this out…” He mumbled, his voice was a little slurred.

“Have you slept at all?” She asked. It had taken a lot of difficulty to leave Reid alone in protective custody without them. The poor boy was petrified, practically begging his team to let him help with the case. When Spencer didn’t answer her she continued. “We have a lead, Oliana is double checking the forensics work and-”

“When do we move out?” Reid asked, his head snapping up.

“You’re staying behind with Garcia.” Emily started. Spencer began to protest in frantic, broken sentences and Prentiss hushed him, taking his hands to try and calm him a bit, stopping his shaking. “Spencer, you’re the one she’s primarily focused on, we can’t risk bringing you right to her.”

“Why not!?” Reid exclaimed, pulling his hands away. “If she’s willing to listen to anyone it would be me. I could… I could play along and I could get her to listen, it worked last time, maybe if we keep up the façade that-”

“Reid.” A firmer voice broke the two away and Spencer spun to face Hotch in the doorway. “We aren’t giving her exactly what she wants. She counting on you being a part of the investigation. She’s been leaving us a trail, she wants to be found. Right now, reuniting with you is her main goal.” He explained. “It’s too dangerous, I let this entire thing happen, and I’m not about to make another mistake at your dispense.” Hotch’s voice was very firm, and even a little angry, but it was clearly not directed at either Reid or Emily. He began rounding up the files Reid was going over, despite the young doctor’s protests.

“Hotch I can help!” Spencer begged. He couldn’t be alone with his thoughts right now, he had to keep working, keep thinking, keep his brain occupied. Hotch sighed, understanding this and giving Emily a look that asked for help.

“I’ll get you copies of all her letters. And any notes she left at the crime scenes. Messages to you, the police. A lot of it doesn’t make sense and I’m sure you’ll be able to figure it out. Find what she’s hiding and what she’s trying to tell us.” Emily explained. “But you do it from here, under protective custody and you stay inside.” She warned, earning a node from Spencer as she left the room.

“Emily, is giving those to him the best idea?” Hotch asked, following her quickly. “Some of the things she wrote at the crime scene… Reid could blame himself for this and that’s not what he needs right now.”

“What he needs most is to not feel helpless.” Emily explained. “And he’s right, we need him for this. Nobody knows how to decipher a mind like this better than Spencer. He can work from here and be kept safe.” She assured. Hotch nodded and looked over at the rest of the team, scrambling to be on the jet as fast as they could.

Hotch answered his phone the minute it rung nd Garcia spoke up. “I know where Claire is waiting for you guys, she’s in Waterdale, her father owned a second property where he would take Claire when she was a little girl. It was a big old looking house, I sent the address to your phones, she’s there.”

“How can you be sure?” Derek asked.

“She’s got her phone’s GPS on, and made sure the call to the police station lasted exactly a minute and thirty seconds. She wants to be found.”

“She thinks we’ll be coming with Spencer.” Rossi explained. “She’s not thinking through any of this clearly, she’s willing to give up her place, safety and cover just for the chance to see him. It doesn’t make sense.”

“Claire isn’t stupid.” JJ shook her head. “There’s a good chance she’s got a hostage, maybe to try and negotiate an exchange, the civilian for Spencer.” She profiled. “We can’t bring him, he’d give himself up in a second.” JJ began to panic and Emily put her hand on her shoulder.

“He’s staying here. Safe.” She promised. Hotch looked carefully over his team.

“If there’s even a chance of her having a hostage, we can’t waste anymore time. Wheels up in five.”

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Spencer looked along the walls that he covered with the letters, pictures of notes and messages she’d written in blood, everything.

_ I did this all for you Spencer _

_ We will be together again _

_ This was all because of you _

_ This was all because of you _

_ This was all because of- _

Reid shook his head and tried to get out of his thoughts. He continued trying a different cipher, hoping they’d missed something.

_ One day I’ll bring you home to me _

_ I’ll find you, just as you found me _

_ No one can stop true love, this is all for you _

_ All because of you _

_ All because of- _

Spencer closed his eyes tightly for the second time and took that one note off the wall. It was too much to look at. This was all because of him. Why did he do it?

“Spence?” A soft voice came behind him and he spun on his heel. Ollie gave him the softest smile she could and handed him a warm cup of tea. “I know you prefer coffee, but you haven’t slept in days, and you’re all jittery.” She explained.

“I’m going crazy…” Reid whispered, looking back up at the wall. Ollie just shook her head, but he wasn’t really paying attention right now. Maybe if he looked at things for a three hundred and seventy-fifth time he’s see it. “There has to be something else to it, there’s  _ always  _ something else but it doesn’t make sense!” Spencer cried, his hands flew up to grab at his hair, dropping the cup on the ground and letting it spill everywhere. But he didn’t notice, his vision was fuzzy and he couldn’t think.

Ollie put her hand on his shoulder and moved him so he would sit down, sitting quietly next to him. Reid kept ramling, when he was this worked up his brain moved faster than his mouth could, so the words he said were jumbled and didn’t always make sense. But she listened like they did. “I don’t… I shouldn’t understand but it’s not adding up it ALWAYS adds up! But it won’t, why would she cover her tracks so much if she wanted to be found!? None of this makes sense and everytime I look at it I feel like I’m losing my mind a little bit more and more and I feel like I’m crazy! I feel like I’m being watched and I can’t sit still and everything is scaring me, why am I like this, why is it doing this to me?” He asked, looking at his trembling hands.

Oliana just slid closer to him and put her arm around his shoulder. “That must be really confusing.” She just said simply.

“It IS!” Reid creid. “I’m not used to being confused! But I am and I don’t know how to deal with it! If it were anyone else on my team they’d be more collected about this! But for some reason I’m just… I’m just so much weaker than them and I can’t! Ollie I can’t, I can’t do it Ollie I can’t I can’t I can’t… I can’t…” He just fell forward and she collected him in her arms, letting him sob.

“It’s okay.” She whispered. “Spence, it’s all going to be okay. You don’t have to know, you don’t have to be strong about this, it’s okay.”

“But I have to keep it together I have to… I have to…” He couldn't finish his thought and he put his hand over his mouth, like he was trying to keep the panic in. Oliana took his face in her hands and turned his head up.

“Spencer listen to me.” She demanded, his eyes flicked up and she smiled. “It doesn’t matter how your team would handle this if it were happening to them, because the truth is it’s not. This is happening to you right now. And it sucks, and it’s scary, and it might be the worst thing. And that’s fine.” She promised him. He got a very confused look and she gave him a very gentle kiss. “You don’t have to be okay. It’s okay, if it’s not okay… Okay?” She seemed like her own words confused her a little bit, but Spencer seemed to understand.

“O-Okay…” He choked out, moving closer int her hug, holding her tight. Reid sobbed for a while and Ollie just held him close. “It’s not okay… I don’t feel okay, Ollie, and I don’t know what to do… It’s not okay.” He sputtered. Oliana only nodded.

“Yeah. I know. And that’s okay too.” She held his hand tight and closed her eyes, resting her head on his soft head of fluffy curls, but was jolted when Spencer jerked away from her hug and practically flung himself back to his drawing board.

“I know what Claire is planning to do!”

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“Clear!” JJ gave the word and the rest of the team moved in, ready to stop Claire with whatever she had planned. But the whole house checked out empty, except for a cellphone on the living room floor.

“She’s not here.” Derek finally concluded, and one by one the team put their weapons away. “Hotch I don’t understand, she’s not here, what was all this for?”

“To screw with us? Remind us who’s in control?” Prentiss thought out loud, but didn’t seem to be buying her own profile.

“Dunbar isn’t the controlling type, she wouldn’t do this just to toy with us and prove her dominance. That’s not the type of unsub we’re dealing with.” He ran his fingers through his hair, frustrated at the other dead end. Wasting their time and leaving Reid in jeopardy, and every minute that passed he blamed himself for the entire situation more and more. Don’t make it personal, don’t create a personal connection with the unsub. That was what they were taught, to keep themselves safe, and that’s what he had Reid do. He never thought she’d escape, he never thought she’d be transferred to a psychiatric hospital with such low security. He let Spencer down, and now he was in danger and the only thing Hotch could seem to do was blame himself for it.

“Aaron.” A voice cut in, and he turned to look at Rossi, who gave him the most serious look he could muster. “Any of us would have done the same thing, it was a smart move to send Reid in there to apprehend her, we couldn’t have known.”

“I should have stayed on top of it.” Hotch just cut him off. “I’m the leader, Dave, I should have been keeping tabs on her and inteviend when they tried to transfer here I should have…” He just shook his head. “We have work to do, we can talk about this later.” He used a serious voice that he normally dropped around his friend and family.

The two faced Morgan when he dialed Garcia. “Claire’s not here, please tell me you got something mama.” He nearly begged, the unit making their way back to the SUVs as fast as possible.

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“This all doesn’t make sense… of course it doesn’t make sense and that’s what’s so obvious about it.” Spencer was mumbling to himself and he scribbled out all his word, any codes or ciphers that led to nothing. “It’s not code for anything… It’s not supposed to make sense.” He kept rambling, pacing around in front of Oliana.

“So what does that mean?” She asked. He kept flapping his hands from side to side, not up and down in the happy way he did when he got excited, this was the anxiety and thinking way. Reid ripped one of the papers off of the wall, the last note Claire had left at the crime scene, the one instructing the BAU to go to Waterdale.

“Bring this to Garcia, tell her to get the team back here as fast as they can. Anything they found in Waterdale, anything she set up there, it means nothing.” He tried explaining, but his thoughts were going so fast it was hard to speak. “It’s-it’s all to… it’s all to separate us, it’s all a wild goose chase that leads to nothing! Go! Bring this to Penelope!” He begged, Ollie nodded, taking the paper and practically running from to office space and almost leaping down the flight of steps to Penelope’s bat cave.

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“She wanted to get you guys as far away from Reid as possible, she knew we’re a team she knew we’d be the closest thing to him.” Penelope typed rapidly, trying to find some trace of the girl close to home.

“Then if Dunbar isn’t here, then we have to go back to the original profile.” Prentiss started. “She’s not counting on us bringing Spencer to her… then that means…” The entire van went silent and Rossi slammed on the gas pedal. “Garcia! Get security and find Spencer right now! Don’t leave him alone for a second!” She cried out, Garcia’s eyes widening and she leapt from her seat.

“Ollie just went back to him! Oh my god… I-I have to go get them!”

“Garcia get back up first!” Hotch instructed urgently. “Claire is quiet and calculating, she’d wait hours to strike if it meant doing it perfectly.” Hotch realised.

“We wouldn’t even see her coming.” JJ’s voice dropped, and the line on Garcia’s side went dead.

“Penelope… Penelope! Come on baby girl where’d you go!?” Derek panicked and tapped on the screen in vain.

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“Derek? Hotch?” Garcia dropped her phone fearfully and swung her door open, wasting no more time. But her blood ran cold when she was greeted with another sight.

Spencer was trembling with the barrel of a gun pressed to his head. Claire had the sweetest smile on her face and she held his hand in her free one tenderly, like she wasn’t threatening his life in that very moment. Penelope swallowed hard and her eyes cast back and forth, Oliana was bound to the radiator in the hallway by her hands, and she was yanking at the binds so hard her wrists looked like they might break.

“Don’t hurt him! Please, please for the love of god don’t hurt him!” She cried out.

“Shut UP!” Claire screamed at her, cocking the gun and Ollie went silent. “I’d never harm my prince, I would never hurt him.” She promised, but she pressed the gun harder against his head, making a red mark.

“How did you get in here?” Garcia asked. Their protective custody was sharp, and highly skilled.

“Your top agents went all the way to Waterdale to find me.” She giggled then her ace snapped to fury. “IF YOU LOVED HIM AS MUCH AS I DID YOU’D STAY TO PROTECT HIM!” She screamed, digging the barrel of the gun onto Reid’s temple. Penelope looked like she might move, and Clair jumped on it. “Move at all and my prince dies.” She hissed, going back on her previous promise, she was losing it and becoming unstable. “Nobody loves you as much as I do, all of this has been for you.” Claire smiled at him with happy eyes. “I waited for you, but then… I came to find you… and that SLUT TOOK YOU AWAY!” Claire screamed at Oliana. “What did you do to him!? Darling you don’t have to go back to her, I’m here to save you!” She promised. Spencer closed his eyes tightly, trying to think a way out of this.

“Okay…” He spoke with a weak voice. “I… I know… you’ve always done everything for me, Claire… let’s just leave.” Spencer tried so hard to not let fear show in his voice. “Me and you, we can leave together and put all of this behind us.” He tried. Sighing in relief when the gun was lowered from his head.

“Oh darling, we will have everything we’ve ever dreamed… our happily ever after!” Claire’s eyes lit up, then immediately got a dark glare. “And she will never come between us again.” She hissed, turning the gun on Oliana.

“WAIT!” Reid cried, Claire’s eyes casting to him and relief flooded over when he heard no gun shot. He had to play this carefully, if he didn’t want this all to happen again, he had to use his brain and think. But for once the genius could hardly keep his thoughts straight. “C-Claire, l-let me do it…” He swallowed hard. “I want to do it. She stole me from you, let me make things right.” He put his trembling hands out and Claire’s face lit up.

“Oh sweetheart.” She just grinned. Spencer nodded and gently put his hands over hers, slowly curling his fingers around the gun. Be careful, no sudden movements. Nobody has to get hurt. He took a shaky breath and made a move to take the gun from Claire. She looked at him with wide eyes, and that’s when she saw it.

Fear. He was looking at Claire petrified, the same way she had looked at her father. Her prince was scared, was it because of the evil queen who stole him away? But then his eyes darted over to the witch with black hair tied to the radiator. And something relaxed in his eyes, Spencer gave Claire a nod, going to take the gun.

“You love her.” Claire tightened her grip on the gun and pulled it from Spencer’s grip. “You… you lied to me! YOU LOVE HER!” She screamed in heartbreak and betrayal, pointing the gun to Spencer. Garcia leapt forward to do something,  _ anything,  _ but the gun went off with a loud bang, before Garcia tackled the woman to the floor, the gun slipping from her grip. But it was too late, and Spencer hit the floor hard, his head bashing into the tile floor, showing no reaction in his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys like this chapter! I worked really hard on this one and I'm so sorry it took me forever to post haha! Please comment and let me know hat you think and whether or not I should write more of this story! Thank you all and I love you!


	8. Don't loose your head

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry this took me so long to update! But I felt like nobody was reading my stuff and kind of fell into a rut haha. Sorry! Anyway I hope you like this chapter I worked really hard on it! Please comment if you want to, really sometimes those are the only things that keep me going! I hope you enjoy!!!!

_ “This is so nice, just me and you again.” The voice echoed. Spencer nodded and kept walking down the twisty trail. He was wearing a sweater he didn’t own, it was dark blue with stars on it. _

_ “This isn’t my sweater.” Spencer noted. He wasn’t confused, it was just a statement. _

_ “No. It’s not.” The voice agreed. “I’ve missed you.” _

_ “I’ve missed you too.” Spencer promised, hopping over a log. He was in some kind of woods, but the sky was white, and there was a button on the trail. “Does this remind you of anything?” Spencer asked, looking around. _

_ “Yeah, you’ve been thinking about that movie Coraline ever since you watched it with Oliana.” The voice told him the words he meant to say himself. “These are the woods from the movie, and look you found another button!” The voice was happy and Spencer grinned, bending down to pick up a big honey colored button. _

_ Spencer brought his hand close to his face to look at the button, but when he opened his hand up there was a honey-colored eye in the palm of his hand. Bloodshot from being plucked from its socket. Spencer yelped and tossed it, bringing his hand to his face in shock, but when he felt his face he screamed. _

_ Or tried to scream. _

_ His mouth was stitched shut, and two big brown buttons were sewn into his eyes. It made his vision next-to-blind, and no matter how much he tried to scream the stitches seemed to tighten on his lips. Spencer felt like running and pulling his hair out, and when he did only brown colored yarn got tugged from his head. And when he took a few more running steps his knees buckled and he tumbled down, spilling himself across the path. Spencer lifted his head wearily and saw the stitches that connected his legs had torn, spreading his limbs across the trail. Rag scraps in lue of blood spread everywhere. He tried to pull at the thread to keep himself together, but the stitches connecting his arm quickly came undone. _

_ “Spencer, darling, don’t lose your head!” The voice started laughing and Spencer felt himself tipping, as his rag-doll head spilled to the ground and the rest of his seams came undone. _

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Oliana ran her fingers through Spencer’s hair, trying her best to soothe him in his sleep. He was curled in a tight ball, trembling and making small whimpers. “Spencer, honey, it’s okay.” She tried, hoping her voice got through to his nightmares. “Come on, Spence… come back to me.” She begged quietly. Spencer mumbled something and his eyes fluttered open, earning a smile from Ollie who just kept petting his head. “There you are, there you are.”

“W-who…?” He asked softly, rubbing his eye. Spencer looked up at the foggy figure hovering above him and he put his hands out.  His eyes adjusted in time to see Oliana take his hand and kiss his fingers softly. Reid all the sudden felt his heart begin pounding as terror and panic set in. “Ollie! Oh my god where are they!? We-we have to-”   
“Spencer, shh, relax. It’s okay, it’s okay.” Oliana took his hands and tried to get him to stop panicking, the heart monitor was beeping wildly beside them as the alert went off. “Spencer it’s alright, relax okay? I’m here, this is real, you’re awake. You’re in the hospital, okay?” She tried to comfort him, but she was warned that he’d be confused and disoriented.

“W-where’s my team?” He asked, looking back and forth. Spencer’s eyes then blew up with fear. “Where’s Claire!?!?” he cried out. Oliana just took his hands and hushed him one more time.

“Spencer, relax, it’s okay.” She repeated. “Your team made it back, Claire was never in Waterdale, do you remember that?” She asked, Spencer blinked oddly and then nodded, starting to put everything together.

“C-Claire tried to shoot you… oh my god did she hurt you!?!” Spencer cried, trying once again to get up. Ollie stopped him and kissed his hands, shaking her head.

“No, no, Spence she didn’t.” Ollie promised. “She turned the gun on you. She shot you twice, Spencer, we’d thought we lost you.” Her voice was light and soft spoken, heavy with relief and she kept brushing his curls from his face. Spencer shook his head softly and closed his eyes, letting all the blurs and memories tumble back.

“I remember… it’s coming back.” He assured, the disorientation slowly melting from his ace along with his previous panic. “G-Garcia… she was there, what happened is she alright?” Spencer’s voice picked up, everything was clearing up now as he came to. And his eidetic memory made sure he could never forget a single traumatic event he was dragged through. But those memories felt smaller once a laugh cut through his thoughts. Spencer looked up fast to see Oliana laughing and shaking her head.

“That tech analyst of yours can throw a punch.” Oliana shook her head and Spencer perked up. Ollie stood up and put her arms out to tell the story better. “As soon as the gun went off Penelope was right on top of her! Claire didn’t even know what hit her--  _ I didn’t even know what hit her! _ ” Oliana cried out. Spencer began laughing at that image but was cut off with a horrible crackling cough.

“My chest is on fire.” Spencer nearly coughed out.

“You’re sick, darling.” Oliana tried to comfort. “The surgery to get both bullets out of your chest didn’t go so well.” She explained. “They thought you came out of it fine but there were complications and an infection.”

“I have pneumonia?” Spencer deduced, without further explanation and Ollie nodded.

“How did you know?” She asked.

“Well considering the area of the surgery it’s the most common post-op complication in-” Spencer stopped when Oliana started laughing. “What? What’s so funny?” He asked, his voice still raspy. Ollie just grinned and brushed some of his brown curls from his face.

“Spencer… my Spencer.” She just laughed a little more. Ollie put her head next to Spencer’s. “Go on,” she encouraged, wanting to hear his voice and see his eyes. “I knew you’d wake up with some statistics to rattle off to me. It’s been so quiet without your ramblings, I almost forgot the cute look you get when you’re excited about a topic.” Her eyes then fell solemn and she held his hand tighter. “You gave us all such a scar, Spence, I was sure I’d lost you…” She trailed off. Oliana continued to run her fingers through his hair, and Spencer caught the exhaustion in her eyes.

“I’m so sorry I let this happen… I’m sorry I didn’t tell you all sooner and I’m sorry-”

“No more.” Oliana stopped him with a more harsh tone. “You did everything to the best of your ability, you saved me.” She promised him, much gentler. Spencer held onto her hand with both of his for a short while, before nearly jumping when the door to his hospital room opened.

“You promised to come get us when he woke up.” Garcia stood at the door with wide eyes, in front of Hotch and Morgan before shuffling in faster than her too-high heels would allow her to. “Oh my dear sweet wonder child, look at you.” Penelope took his face in both her hands and Spencer smiled weakly.

“Hey,” he mustered “how long have you all been here?” Reid finally asked, looking at the group of three. “How long have I been out?” He finally decided to ask, looking up a little worried.

“Four days.” Morgan responded. “We all stayed as long as we could, you were in critical condition for a while and eventually they told us we had to leave. But the fiery woman to your left there,” Derek gestured to Oliana “gave them quite a hard time about that. They had to get security to drag her out of the hospital, and the minute she was allowed she was right back at your side.” He confessed for her. Spencer looked up at Oliana with big eyes and she merely shrugged.

“I had to be here when you woke up, I know how you get with strangers touching you so I wanted to make sure you had somebody through all the poking and prodding.” She huffed, seeming a little pissed all of the sudden.

“Oliana that doctor was just doing her job.” Hotch pinched the bridge of his nose and Ollie threw her hands up in defense.

“Oh sure she was!” Her voice dripped with sarcasm. “Stupid idiot didn’t know how to put in an IV, I swear if she made him bleed  _ one more time-” _

“Ollie, cool it.” Penelope hushed. Oliana just leaned back and crossed her arms, grumbling like a child. “Spencer, do you want us to called the rest of the team? Tell them you’re awake?” Garcia asked, a big smile breaking out on her face. “They’ll be thrilled that you’re finally safe and sound!” She jumped a bit and Spencer nodded. “I’ll tell them to get down here and-”

“Baby girl let’s let him rest a little bit.” Morgan put his arm around her and she nodded, Reid getting a look of relief.

“You know I want to see them, but right now I’d just like to know when I can go home.” His question wasn’t processed before a woman entered the hospital room and smiled.

“Dr. Reid, happy to see you awake.” She beamed. “I’m Dr. Gala.” She introduced, Oliana scowled and leaned back further in her chair.

“When can I go home?” Spencer asked again, a little more desperately.

“You’ll be clear for discharge soon, I just need to go over your chart.” Dr. Gala explained. “Your girlfriend told you we had some complications with the surgery, but you pulled through better than we hoped.” She gave a very kind smile and Spencer was confused as to how Ollie managed to keep hating this woman. “The pneumonia is in both lungs, it’s crucial you don’t miss any of the antibiotics and get as much rest as possible in that time. I really don’t recommend staying alone, you’re going to need some help. Do you have anyone you can stay with?” Gala asked. Morgan opened his mouth and raised his hand, but before the words could get out Oliana cut him off.

“I’ll be staying with him, don’t worry.” She promised. Dr. Gala smiled and nodded, asking Oliana for her home address and scribbling some stuff down. “I’ll stay with him at his own apartment, you’ll be more comfortable there, right Spence?” She asked, earning a nod from her boyfriend. Gala seemed pleased with this decision.

“Let me just put these through and we can see about sending you home.” She smiled, patting his leg gently. Ollie didn’t seem to like that very much and she narrowed her eyes at the older woman until she left the room.

“Christ, Ollie, I’m injured not broken.” Spencer laughed a little. “You don’t need to act like a guard dog.” He blushed and Ollie scoffed.

“I sure as hell do! Cause the minute I look away someone tries to snatch you up! And I ain’t never gonna let anyone, let alone a stupid doctor who kept  _ manhandling  _ you, take you away.” She simmered quietly and Spencer rolled his eyes.

“I really don’t think she was manhandling me, Oliana.” He tried gently.

“Are you implying that I am  _ overreacting!?” _ Oliana cried, getting out of her seat. Spencer just laughed as Ollie kept rambling about how she was more gentle with the dead bodies she dissected, than Dr. Gala was with an unconscious Spencer. “I swear she was  _ trying  _ to bruise you.” She insisted, turning away. Hotch glanced over to Reid and just shook his head, none of what this crazy woman was saying was true.

“She’s fine, she just gets a little heated sometimes.” Spencer whispered. Ollie was still rambling about hospitals.

“When I was six I broke my arm, I didn’t go to a hospital and I was fine!”

“Ollie, your arm never healed right. It’s at a permanent angle now.”

“I  _ like  _ it that way, Spencer.”

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Spencer was cleared to go as soon as Oliana was made well aware of everything he needed to get better. “Please, make sure he gets rest, and don’t let him try and work like this.” JJ begged, rounding up her things from the hospital chair. The rest of the team had rushed over the minute they heard their resident genius opened his eyes. So much for ‘letting him rest’.

“Don’t worry, I’m on it.” Ollie assured. She looked over at Prentiss, who was still hugging Reid as tightly as she could without causing the poor kid any pain.

“You know you can’t miss a single pill right?” JJ stressed, going into mom-mode. Reid just kept nodding as his friends listed what he already knew.

“Call us if you need anything, we’ll visit as much as we can.” Emily swore. Spencer gave her a weak smile, he was too tired to muster up a response. They all began to notice this, and started to say their goodbyes to their youngest member. It was near painful to watch them go, and before Garcia could leave Spencer forced out a call.

“Wait!” He called quickly. Garcia turned and Spencer gave her a tired smile. “Ollie tells me you have a killer left hook… I wish I could’ve seen it.” He laughed weakly and Garcia grinned.

“I’ll show it to you sometime.” She promised, miming punching him in the face, making Spencer laugh and shake is head. He whispered a quiet ‘thank you’ before she left the hospital room, jobbing a little to catch up with Morgan.

“Did you see him? He looked  _ okay. _ ” Garcia sighed in joyful relief. “Weak and sick and tired, but he had that Spencer-smile we love so much.” She looked up at Derek, expecting him to share her joy, but he seemed stiff. “Hey? Chocolate thunder? Where’s your smile? Our boy genius is alive and going-to-be well!”

“He should be staying with one of us.” Derek said simply. “Or, one of us should be staying with him or… I don’t know. We’re a team, he should be with his team.” Morgan explained, shaking his head a little. Garcia just stared at him for a moment.

“Is this because Spencer is staying with Oliana instead of you?” Penelope asked.

“No… well, sort of. I don’t know.” Derek said again. “Baby girl, we’re a family. We look out for each other, that kid is like my little brother… he  _ is  _ my little brother.” He stressed. “We-- all of us-- have been together since the very beginning. We’ve been looking out for each other. And she’s… she’s new, Garcia! She’s not part of this team, she’s  _ new,  _ I’m not sure if we can trust her just yet and she made him cry!” Derek reminded. “It’s like nobody else remembers that Halloween when she made him panic and run out of that bar and lock himself in his apartment in tears.” He spoke firmly, Garcia giving him a blank look.

“You’ve made Spencer cry.” She said plainly.

“I’m serious.” Derek retorted.

“So am I.” Penelope responded in a dry tone. Morgan fell back and gave her a confused and shocked look.

“I haven’t-”

“Well not in front of you.” She assured. “But he comes to me for comfort sometimes, and yes, you have made him cry.” Garcia broke the news and Morgan stared at her blankly. “That doesn’t make you a bad person. You’ve made some mistakes, just like every single person on this planet. And I know you love your little brother, but you have to trust that he’ll surround himself with the right people.” She explained.

“I can’t just trust that she’s good enough for him… what if she breaks his heart? What if she cheats on him or does something stupid that absolutely destroys him? I don’t know her well enough to be sure she won’t!” Morgan cried.

“And you don’t know her well enough to accuse her of that either.” Garcia retorted. Derek threw her a glance and she tilted her head. “Listen, as deliciously sexy you are, you can be so stupid.” She bopped his nose and crossed her arms. “Spencer is capable of making his own choices. And if you wanna know the people he surrounds himself with, do it. Get to know her, become her friend. She might surprise you.” Garcia suggested, before walking ahead of the agent, leaving him to think for a moment.

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Spencer trembled and he pulled the blanket tighter around him. He erupted in another coughing fit and a horrible pain wracked through his body, and the jerking motion caused an awful stabbing pain in his chest. He closed his eyes and tried to will away the migrain, but they opened when there was a soft touch on his head. “Here, take these.” Ollie put two pills on the table next to him. “Don’t worry, they’re not narcotics.” She assured, already answering his unasked question. “They’ll help you sleep too.” Ollie added. Spencer didn’t normally take medication, but the pain was so bad, and the idea of sleep was tempting. He took the pills and drank the entire glass of water, despite the awful pain when he swallowed.

“O-Ollie…?” He mustered weakly. She looked at him with a gentle face and he shifted slightly. “When I was unconscious in the hospital… I had the strangest dream.” He began, fear seeping into his voice. “W-will you stay… please…?” It was hard to see, not just because the room was dimmed, but his head was swimming and everything was spinning. All he knew was that he didn’t want to have that dream again, but when Oliana was here, he was safe. She could protect him.

“Of course, angel.” Ollie promised, before Spencer shut his eyes. It was so hard to think and hear, but he couldn’t stop dwelling on that fact that she called him an angel. He didn’t really care all that much for pet names, and if it were anyone else he might roll his eyes and resist it, like the first time Derek called him “pretty boy”. But the way Ollie said it made him feel so nice, and warm, it made his stomach well up with butterflies and his face flush red-- but somehow this was all in a really good way. He hadn’t had crushes as a kid, and never really found time or socialized enough for romance. So who would have guessed he’d be such a hopeless romantic? Blushing madly and doodling her name in his notebook like some kind of high school kid. But he was. The genius Spencer Reid was acting like a complete, love-stuck  _ idiot _ . And even with the crippling pain in his chest and lungs, the pounding headache and trembling limbs, this was the best feeling he’d trade anything for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope Derek didn't come off as too harsh! I just wanted to make him kind of protective, we'll see more of the team in the next chapter I promise! Please comment if you'd like! It would really make my week!!!

**Author's Note:**

> btw a phlebotomist is a doctor who takes and tests samples of blood and flesh, while a forensic serologist works with blood and flesh of dead murder victims and preforms autopsies. Just letting you guys know because I'm super dumb and had to look it up to get the facts right lmao


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